Missy on Sunday: Lost in the Post

Written by Missy Price

Sunday, 29 November 2009 14:00

ATV Good morning darlings. You may have missed me last week and that is entirely the fault of Royal Mail – my column got lost in the post. It will probably arrive in time for next Christmas darlings just like your Christmas cards for this year. I wouldn’t bother sending any if I were you. My husband informs me they are planning to go on strike again so you’ll be lucky if they even get taken out of the post box. I’d send them a lovely email – it’s free and hotmail isn’t likely to go on strike, is it dears?

Not that I don’t have sympathy with the Royal Mail workers...well I don’t actually but that’s neither here nor there. I am sure they are striking for good reasons and are deeply concerned about the affect it has on...well the customers...the ones who actually pay their wages. I’m sure if they weren’t on strike I’d get lots of letters of complaints from them about that sentence dear....but they most likely will be on strike so there’s little chance of them actually delivering the letters, are there?

Anyway darlings I’ve been pondering. Pondering on what certain MP’s will do when they lose their seats at the next election because they’ve had their hands in the till. Now what could a disgraced former MP do next? Well what did the disgraced former Editor of the Mirror do next? That’s right! He was hired by ITV for all ranges of programmes. So darling MP’s who look set to lose their seats at the next election the public might not want you but ITV will welcome you with open arms...and open cheque books. But we must remember darlings that these MP’s did nothing wrong and did not break the rules. No we must remember what they did was entirely within the rules...and who made the rules darlings? Why our elective representatives for parliament of course!

Well this really is the last week for me darlings. Next week Harriet the Harlot will be filling this column and answering all your problems. So do drop her an email by clicking here >>

Dear Missy, are you a fan of missionary?

Missionary work dear or missionary position? Well it doesn’t matter because in both cases the answer is no.

Dear Missy, do flavoured condoms make that much difference?

You mistake me for someone who knows the answer to that question. I don’t. But I’m sure Vivian does.,.....she’s been around the block a couple of hundred times.

To view my previous issue click here >>

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