Now if there was a contest between Piers Morgan and Heather Mills to find out which the public disliked more who would ‘win’? I’m not sure darlings, why not post your vote below? Anyway Heather Mills, most recently seen Dancing on Ice, has hit out at the former Mirror editor and Britain’s Got Talent Judge. I would vote for Piers Morgan every time, he was right about the British Troops torturing Iraqis, infact they even mudered one! the hotel owner. She is just a lying scheming old has been.
Queenie’s Weekly Bitch: Con-Dem Nation, Kerry Katona and Heather Mills |
| Written by Queenie Le Trout |
| Thursday, 13 May 2010 09:16 |
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Kerry Katona is waiting for X Factor Call…and waiting..and wating..and waiting
Kerry Katona is hoping to join the X Factor as a replacement for Danni Minogue…well that’s according to The Daily Star. Yes walking car-crash Kerry Katona, a regular feature of my showbiz round-up, is planning a pop comeback and thinks that the X Factor would be the perfect place to re-launch her career…er what career?
"I’m waiting for Simon to ask me to join The X Factor" – Katona told The Daily Star
And I rather imagine she’s still waiting now. Let’s be honest her pop career is hardly stunning is it? Few people probably even remember she was in Atomic Kitten. These days Kerry Katona is more associated with Iceland and spreads in Okay than pop music! I’d rather stick with Danni Minogue than see Kerry Katona judging people’s musical talent on the X Factor. Why it would be the same as Piers Morgan judging talent on Britain’s Got Talent which rather neatly leads me onto too….
Heather Mills: I Can’t Stand Piers Morgan
"I can't stand Piers Morgan. I just can't believe that the country has put a man on television who put pictures in the paper of British soldiers, risking their lives, urinating on Iraqi soldiers. I can't believe he's been put on the screen. It's like, how short are people's memories? He abused the process and insulted the British soldiers in the worst way possible” – Heather Mills quoted by ITN
Well to be fair Heather has a point. But it’s a bit like the kettle calling the pot black. After all Heather Mills was on our screens not so long ago dancing away on Ice and did she think people had forgotten her divorce with Paul McCartney? Actually I was rather surprised at how long she stayed on Dancing on Ice for…but as Heather says the British public must have a very short memory.
Lance Bass Dating Queer Guy
Openly gay singer Lance Bass is dating Kyan Douglas, one of the grooming experts on that god awful Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. According to the New York Post the two have been seen together in New York and San Francisco..surely not at the same time? They’d be something seriously wrong then.
Lance Bass is a former member of boyband N’Sync, took part in Dancing with the Stars and one of his ex’s is Reichen Lehmkuhl who was in the third season of Dante’s Cove. Oh Dante’s Cove…where art tho…or whatever the fucking Shakespeare line is.
News in Brief:
Remember what I said last issue about Emmerdale/Coronation Street actors not being too happy about EastEnders weeping the boards at the British Soap Awards? Well darlings how right I was (by the way I’m always fucking right). According to The Sun former Crossroads actress Lucy Pargeter, now in Emmerdale, wasn’t too happy and tweeted on Twitter “Emmerdale has got fuck all”…now of course it may be a fake Twitter account but I wouldn’t be surprised…….
Sarah fucking Palin is to release a new book this AUTUMN….yes that’s AUTUMN and not fucking FALL. So anyway this AUTUMN Sarah bloody Palin is to release a new book America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag…hmmm I’ve got a better suggestion…”I gave my children stupid names”….Thank god I’m NOT American darlings.
Hung Parliament: Con-Dem Nation
I really wish I could take credit for coming up with the term Con-Dem Nation but I think it was John Prescott. Ah Politics seems a duller place with out old Prescott who was wheeled out by the BBC on Monday for a wonderful interview on College Green. Some stupid bint was shouting in the background while Prescott was speaking so old ‘Two Jags’ turned around and shouted “excuse me love can you shut up until I’ve finished”. How refreshingly rude and honest…oh how I laughed.
Anyway so we’re now officially fucked…Nick Clegg has gotten into bed with David Cameron and they’ve screwed us all over. Now I didn’t vote Lib Dem for this….actually I didn’t vote Lib Dem but that’s besides the point. I give the marriage between Clegg and Cameron a year before we see a nasty, bitter divorce with public arguments over who gets the car and Number 10. Oh well you can’t say I didn’t want you darlings!
Vivian was fuming on Tuesday though. She sat down at 7.30 expecting to see EastEnders and what did she get? Lots of shots of London as helicopters followed cars around the city. She thought it was “Cops with Cameras” she was watching…it took twenty minutes for her to realise what was going on. “Surely Cameron could have waited until AFTER EastEnders” Vivian fumed. I’m sure there are thousands of other idiots up and down the country who feel the same….
And finally….
To the bint who said I didn’t like Danielle Lloyd…..well duh! What’s to like?
Don’t forget that I’m on Facebook darlings and you can easily add me as your friend….you know you WANT to. All you have to do to add me as your friend is to click here >>
Please Note: Any opinions expressed here are NOT those of ATV News or ATV Network Limited and nor are they endorsed by us. Queenie Le Trout and Vivian Herpes-Summers are purely fictional characters and any resemblance to any persons living or dead are purely coincidental and not intentional.
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